House of the dating pros

So tonight, I sat at home all night working on my qual.

It's kindof a beast. But not so much of a beast that it keeps me from blogging for the first time since October 28 last year. Basically, I'm supposed to read the supplementals to this article where researchers identified a gene that plays a role in hyperphospatasia mental retardation. And then I decide whether their model takes into account heterozygosity in mutation rate, recombination, and selection pressure, and come up with a model that does. And then there are a few other parts, but that's the gist of it.

Around 9:45, my first roommate arrived at home, announced his arrival, and proceeded to recommended to me the restaurant up the street. He said he went there with the "staff" (it turned out that I had misheard him), and that he shared a plate involving veal and alfredo noodles. He then proceeded to describe the way that he likes this girl, but doesn't see it going anywhere because they are "too similar". He said that they had been dating off and on for four years, and that they had had the chance to get together 9 or 10 times, but it had never really clicked. She's sure a champ for going out with him so often.

My favorite story about him and this girl is that once or twice (I swear it happened more than once) when my other roommates and I were in the kitchen eating ice cream (bachelor life rocks), he came in and explained that if you ever are going to break up with a girl, you should do it at Toscanini's because even though it is bad to break up, at least you can enjoy the ice cream.

"Oh? Did you break up with her there?"

 "Well, kindof.. We had been dating off and on for several months. But we decided we should just be friends."

 I guess they're still deciding that they should be friends. (Note: I talked to the girl, and she can't remember the Toscanini's break up, so maybe there is something to the ice cream break up after all).

 At 9:50, the next roommate got home, and recounted the story of going on a date with a beautiful woman who he asked out as part of his "Dating Mormon Women" project. This roommate is a very cautious and methodical person in his style of living as well as his style of driving. I have two cherished memories with this roommate.

The one is from the week after my third roommate just bought his V6 Jetta and we decided to go racing to establish apartment "alpha male" rights. So my Jetta roommate and his girl got into his Jetta, and I took my cautious roommate in my car, and we headed out into the drizzly 2:00am morning to put some rubber on the road. It was honestly one of the most awesome nights. We may have broken into the 3-digit mph's on route 2 toward Lexington. And the Saab smoked the Jetta. Meanwhile, my cautious roommate was holding on for dear life. When we returned home, he informed us that he had mentally prepared himself for prison time or death should anything have gone wrong.

The second memory is trying to teach him how to drive stick, like a decent male. We went around behind Shaw's, and practiced on the Saab until the check engine light came on after it had been killed so many times. After which I decided to take the wheel. Somehow, on the way home, I convinced him to try one more time on the open road. We made it through the first intersection, and everything was going fine until we came to the next stop sign. Stopping was easy. But then he stalled the engine, and noticed that a car was approaching from behind. He tried to get out of the car, but I suggested that he try again. He was sweating bullets. Killed it a second time. By this time, we had three people behind us. He had opened the door and was waving people around us, practically begging me to come bail him out.. At which point I felt bad for him, and drove us home. We haven't practiced driving stick since.

Anyway, my cautious roommate said that he left 40 minutes before the date, to make sure that he could get to her house on time. He said that it should have been a 7-minute drive across the river, but he barely got there at 7:05.. presumably five minutes late for his date. That must have been some really bad traffic. He parked in the garage next to her house because he didn't want to find parking (man.. this guy would probably see a car in a rorschach test before he would have seen a murderer). Unfortunately, he was informed that he needed to pay for parking before exiting the garage. As he told the story, he had gone to pay the ticket, but then somehow forgotten where he had left his car (Me:"Was she still in the car?" Him: "No. Thank goodness"), and then when he found his car again, he thought he was going out of the garage, but eventually found himself on the roof of the parking garage. He claims that it took him an hour and 15 minutes to get out of the garage. I'm trying to decide whether he was exaggerating.

Then they went to a Peruvian restaurant, and while he fumbled with what to order (he somehow ended up with an alcoholic dish -- a very awkward cultural experience for two Mormons on a date), his date spoke enough Spanish to help them out later during the meal. He didn't seem to be very impressed with her intellect.. Like a good date, she asked "What are you researching?" and he explained that he was studying something about the moral implications of committing a crime versus abstaining from action in a situation with the same measurable outcome. "Like is there a difference between stealing $10 from someone and not giving someone $10?" "I don't understand why that is important." And then toward the end of the date, he asked her "So, how do you think the date went?" "Because I really like this post-gaming talk.. I like to know how I'm doing." Atta rooommate.. post-gaming before the final whistle is blown. Tactfully, she said "I'm not sure what you mean."

By this time my third roommate had come home with his girlfriend who is leaving to Hawaii in a few weeks. Also a fairly amusing relationship about which I should probably not reveal details publicly at this point.

 And then there's me. Just got out of a relationship. Studying hyperphospatasia mental retardation. We rock.