How to Have a Successful All-Nighter

It's 12:35, and I am just now realizing that I am about to embark on the second all-nighter in a week. I have also realized that there are probably a lot of struggling people out there who might not know how to pull off a successful all-nighter. So here's my little handy-dandy guide to a successful all-nighter.

Step One: Accrue Tons of Homework and Projects. All-nighters are hard, but they're easier if you have a motivation to stay up. Sometimes it helps to find pictures of your professors to whom you owe homework, and to tape them to your monitor, or fingers if you aren't using a computer for your homework. In a pinch, I guess a couple of good movies would do for a less-productive all-nighter.

Step Two: the Sugar Hop. I avoid caffeine like the plague. Partially because I get belly aches when I drink it. Instead, I prefer the more natural alternative: sugar. Not only does sugar raise your mental capacities and make the evening more enjoyable, it also helps you keep your eyes open. My favorite source of sugar is candy or soda.

Step Three: Get Comfy. But not too comfy. Change into some good all-nighter clothes, like sweats or shorts and a t-shirt. Avid all-nighter experts insist that proper all-nighter gear is essential for a successful all-nighter. Avoid wearing pajamas, or anything that might be embarrassing if your roommates caught you in it the next morning when they are waking up for school.

Step Four: Sustenance. I personally believe that the biggest cause of premature all-nighter abortion is lack of sustenance. It is vital to give your body the nourishment it needs to keep on going the whole night long. Novice all-nighterers should consider breakfast fare such as bacon and eggs, which alerts the body that it needs to be awake for the next while. I have personally established a standard all-nigher cuisine: Western Family Mac and Cheese from a box. Not only is it only 30 cents (on sale) at the store, but it is easy to make, and has noodles, so it's healthy.

Step Five: Musik. You gotta have the tunes, or the ticking of the clock will drive you crazy.. eventually even to bed. Don't listen to your momma's music. That'll put you right where she is - in bed. Listen to the music of champions - like The Used. Or your favorite other music that'll keep you awake AND put hair on your chest.. rock on! However, be courteous to roommates and wear headphones.

Step Six: Be Healthy. Granted, the 40-hour day isn't the best thing for your immune system, but try to take precautions against anything that will have an effect on your body for longer than a week. Don't lick spoons that are sitting in the jello your roommate with mono is eating. Make sure that you are consuming some vitamin c if your sugar source doesn't contain vitamin c. Do some exercise... pushups every hour on the hour is a great way to keep up your stamina and build some muscle. Gimme Twenty!