The recent lack of Mormon culture influences like the Daily Universe or living in Utah has caused me to become a little rusty on which online magazines are pro-church, anti-church or church-sponsored. However, a recent article advertised on the Meridian page entitled "The Twilight Obsession and Its Effect on Marriages" was evidence that the site was pro-Mormons-who-have-strong-opinions-about-Mormon-culture.
Out of curiosity (and boredom), I skimmed the article and was slightly amused by the description of the author, including the picture of the author and her husband in which her husband appears to be making fun of her keep-those-eyes-wide-open picture face. Interested (and still bored) I clicked to her website and was greeted by another eyes-wide-open picture and a title that made me chuckle - Author, Intimacy Educator, Relationship Consultant. And the post-name abbreviation CFLE. Combatant of Fictitious Love Expectations. Curator of French Lotion Exhibit. Closure Failure of Lids of Eyes.
The author's to-date most important contribution to Mormon culture appears to be a "groundbreaking book on sexual intimacy and marital oneness." Sounds exciting. Wikipedia asserts that she has also been a Young Women President and is an American citizen. Check and Check.
"Your book has changed my life. I now have a very fulfilling intimate relationship, and my husband is the happiest man in the Valley!"
I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.
Although I'm sure the entire content of the page could provide hours of entertainment for marriage cynics like myself, I found special enjoyment in scrolling through 27 pages of Couples Photos.
Prompted by a request to "build a community of couples from all around the world who are willing to stand in support of strengthening marriages intimately" 332 couples have taken part in what appears to be a testimony to the credo that even funny-looking people can get married. In German, "Jeder Topf findet seinen Deckel."
My boredom washed away as I browsed through page after page of Utah Valley couples. Each blushing bride or grimacing grandma looked convinced that after reading the author's book she too was convinced that her man was the happiest man in the Valley. Each man looked as if he secretly wished they could have used the money spent on the book for fishing gear instead.
And then I came across a page that made me glad Jordan has gone back to America leaving me alone in the apartment. When I saw the picture of a friend from back home and his wife, I could no longer stifle a gleeful chuckle. Because I was alone, I kept laughing for several minutes. I'm still trying to figure out how rude it would be to tease him about it. I'm sure he doesn't know about it...
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