Advice Column

I think I’m going to change careers. I’m going to be a consultant. A common sense consultant. But I’m not doing it for personal reasons, except that there seems to be a universal lack of common sense in the world today, and I feel that those with common sense have a moral obligation to assist those with less common sense. In the same way that you should help ladies with strollers up and down stairs, or the way tall people should help short people get books that are up high and help them clean the top of their refrigerators and stuff like that.
This advice is worth 50,000 (Euros please), and is directed at the director of the Climate Change Summit in Copenhagen.
First, I would like to point out that according to wikipedia, the average annual temperature of Copenhagen is 8.1 degrees. Currently, it is 6 degrees Celsius. With 93% humidity, and windchill of 2 degrees Celsius. Weather.com reports 6 degrees, 100% humidity.
Not exactly balmy, unless you compare it with the average high and low for December, which are 4 and -1 degrees, respectively.
Of course, compared to somewhere nice, like, for example, the Bahamas, which are now 26 degrees Celsius with a waning crescent moon, that’s not balmy.
Perhaps the person who decided that the climate change conference should be held in Copenhagen was thinking only on alliteration, and had never actually been outside in the middle of Winter in Copenhagen. Personally, I would have chosen Cairo, which was around 20 today.
I would propose that changing the location of the conference would have an effect on the outcome of the conference, if not the mood of the participants.
I hope that the representatives and politicians attending the event had curbside service with no waiting times. Otherwise, upon stepping out of their hotel, they would have noticed the bitter cold and began praying for global warming to have an impact within the next five to ten seconds.
After additional data from the leaked documents from the Climatic Research Unit stuck a stick in the tire of the global warming story, the decision to leave the location in Copenhagen was a poor one, and only supports the sides of the proponents of global warming – particularly the Tourist Division of Copenhagen, which realized that more inviting temperatures would draw additional tourists, who wouldn’t be afraid of going to Denmark because it’s freakin’ cold there.
So that’s my advice for the climate change committee: Don’t hold your global warming meeting in the middle of winter in the Nordic regions.
You’d think people would think of that..

PS... One vote for Global Warming.. It was -13C walking home today.